News of Melenie "Perpetual Spot Blower Upper" Brown's June wedding to Stephen Belafonte has finally leaked. Supposedly they've been friends for years and were getting jiggy wit it while Mel was still pregnant. They didn't go public with their trist until lil baby Angel was born. Who does she think she is? Heidi Klum?...runnin making life long commitments to dudes who are not the father of the child who happens to still be in your belly.
Big mistake marrying this joker. It's all fun and games until someone files for palamony. This Belafonte dude has been rubbing me the wrong way ever since I first heard about him. He kinda gives you that creepy 'show me on the doll where the bad man touched you' vibe. And now I know why. Apparently Steve was ordered to pay $254 bucks a month in child support for his 3-year-old daughter Giselle back in 2005 and has yet to pay any of it. Mel, let me break down what this means:
1. He's a dead beat dad so if you get knocked up…again…he'll bring nothing to the table. He wants your money.
2. Child support figures are based largely on a man's annual income…if my calculations are correct he's bringing in a little over $25K a year…so, um, yea he's broke. He wants your money.
3. Finally HE WANTS YOUR MONEY! HE WANTS YOUR MONEY! HE WANTS YOUR MONEY! RUN B!TCH RUN!!!!!!!!
Steve is also wanted for killing a lil baby duck with a brick outside his Point Pleasant, NJ home. He fled to LA before paying the $600 fine and now there's a warrant out for his arrest. So not only is he a dead beat dad but he also smashes in the brains of cute lil fuzzy baby ducks with bricks…what kinda monster is this guy?!?!?!?!?!
An open casting call will soon be held for the biopic of the life of the Notorious B.I.G. The project has been in the works for years. Listen up big boys! You can begin submitting your audition videos starting this Sunday August 12th at 3pm at www.foxsearchlight.com/notorious or www.biggiecasting.com. The producers are looking for the following:
"As it relates to the individual Christopher Wallace - his looks, his stature, what he represented, the swagger, the sensibility of the man - all those elements are very difficult to find, no matter where you go,'' Barrow said Thursday. ''In the typical Hollywood world, no one came to mind outside of Forest Whitaker who could capture that essence genuinely."
Lo thinks the boy from Monster's Ball" should play lil Chris Wallace, no?
Colored contacts to hide your dialated pupils…$99, Lollipop to keep you from grinding your teeth to smooth stumps…25 cents, leavin' your babies home so you can roll your face off on double stacker E pills at the club…priceless!
Check out one of the Olsens sporting a bag big enough for her to fit in. My friend Danny often jokes about the ridiculous size and contents of my purse. He's even refered to it as my Go-Go Gadget Purse.
FILL IN THE BLANK:
The winner gets a container of 'Slap Ya Mama'.
In other news…
* Emma Bunton (Baby Spice) gave birth to a little boy named Beau.
* Tamia had a baby girl named Lael Rose.
* Nicole Richie was rushed to the hospital for bleeding…turns out the baby isn't
getting enough nutrition.
* Chris Noth has signed on to reprise his role as Mr. Big for the "Sex in the City" movie.
* Merv Griffin finally lost his battle with cancer this weekend. Peace out Merv.
* Rush Hour 3 doesn't do so hot at the box office.
* Kim Kardashian will have her own reality show on E! this fall.